Body Language: An Important Part of Effective Communication
Did you know that 70-90% of our communication is nonverbal? Body language and tone of voice communicate more than words alone.
Body language is part of non-verbal communication used by both animals and people. Part of body language is done subconsciously, and you might not have any idea that you are behaving in a certain way. While you may think your kiddo isn’t listening to you, they are keenly observing your body language, so it matters!
Have you ever wondered when your kiddos will finally follow instructions? Do you expect them to have a positive response to the directions you give them? Or ever wondered how you can make them better listeners? The answer is here, my friend!
As parents and educators, we spend so much time dishing instructions and directions to children. So, it is frustrating when they choose to ignore or not do what we’ve instructed them to do. It’s time we put into consideration the non-verbal ways we communicate with our children, because that’s the missing puzzle piece here. More so, think of how we can positively influence their communication skills while also getting them to listen.
The eye rolls, hunched shoulders, and arms crossed affect how they process information, listen, act, and even speak to others. It’s important to remember that what we say won’t always resonate with them, but how we convey the message absolutely does.
With that being said, we’ll look at how we can use body language to improve communication and get kids to listen the first time asked.
Some Facts about Body Language
It is all about communicating using our behavior. You can tell a person’s state of mind or attitude just by their body language. You see whether they are attentive, bored, amused, relaxed, or even intoxicated. It can either be conscious or unconscious.
We have both positive and negative body language, too. When engaging our kiddos, we have to intentionally use positive body language as it shows interest in the conversation you’re having.
Let’s look at what can be interpreted as positive and negative body language.
Positive Body Language
Leaning closer
This helps in breaking down barriers as it brings people closer, reducing the distance. When a kiddo is speaking, lean closer to them to show interest.
Relaxed posture
This shows there are no barriers to communication. You have relaxed breathing, no stiffness or hasty movement, and you’re comfortably seated.
Nodding
When you nod as your kiddo is talking, you show agreement, understanding, and interest in what they are saying. It tells you’re paying attention to the key things they are saying. However, don’t simply bob your head, as they can tell when you’re tuning out.
Making eye contact
Looking in a person’s eye shows that when they are speaking, you’re paying attention and you’re interested in what they’re saying. It also makes people feel loved, worthy, and important. Imagine what the opposite effect might be.
Smiling
Easier said than done, I know. It does make a huge difference and actually helps you to reduce stress, so it’s worth a shot!
Warm gestures
Talk with your hands using more open palms. This radiates conversation openness to the other person. Hand on their shoulder might also help. That light pressure can be calming….or triggering.
Always remember….. doing any of these things in exaggeration converts them from positive to negative.
Learn more about how to use positive body language in our From Conflict to Calm Communication Course. Get your kiddo to listen the FIRST time!
The course breaks it down into engaging, actionable steps to quickly improve communication with your children.
Negative Body Language
Tense body
This shows that you’re having some difficulties dealing with the other person, or the topic of discussion bothers you. When your body is stiff, brows wrinkled, palms down on the table, or you have jerky body movements, your kiddos see it.
Fidgeting
People do this when they are bored, nervous, or impatient. With kiddos, they’ll move around a lot or even play with things.
Arms folded in front
This acts as a barrier showing that one doesn’t agree with what’s being said.
Leaning away
Not moving closer to someone while talking to them is a sign of being closed off.
Yawning
If you go on and on about something too technical for your kiddo to understand, they’ll start yawning at some point. This is the number one sign of boredom or confusion.
Other signs of negative body language include blank stares, shaking the head, scowling, frowning, hands on the face, etc.
If you use the right non-verbal cues, you’ll reinforce your words and they will hold more weight.
If you use the wrong body language, your kiddo might not believe your words. For instance, you ask them a question but turn to the other side as they answer it. They will conclude that you’re not interested in their answer.
How about a little assignment for the week?
Spend the week paying attention to the body language you convey while speaking to your kiddos. Then, pick one of the positive body languages and intentionally implement it. It may be weird or unnatural when you start out, but I promise the response you get will be worth it!
Please come back and let me know how it went in the comments below. Let’s share our wins and learn together!
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